12.30.2005

I'm sorry, God

I'm coming to realize a lot these days. I once had a counselor talk to me about being sorry for the damage I'd done to myself. I "kind of" got it that day. But recently, I'm starting to see more and more of bad decisions I made in my past and how they affect me today. I blamed a lot of people and I blamed God for most of it. How come He didn't do anything? Well, He probably was trying but I was doing things my way. So now I say...

I'm sorry, God.

I'm sorry for not trusting You and for not letting You take care of me. I've got a ways to go but I'll put my best foot forward and I pray that you make me perfect in love, I cast my anxiety on You for you care for me, please renew my mind and create in me a new heart -- that I'm motivated out of love and trust for You.

"It is to the man who loves Him that Jesus reveals Himself even more fully. Obidient, trusting love lends to a fuller and a fuller revelation. ... No evil man can receive the revelation of God. he can be used by God, but he can have no fellowship with God. It is only to the man who is looking for Him that God reveals Himself. ... Fellowship with God, the revelation of God, are dependent on love; and love is dependent on obedience (as cited by Willam Barclay, 'The Gospel of John')."

-- From "Enjoying Intimacy with God," J. Oswald Sanders, p. 75-76


To my friends, family, brothers and sisters, I'm sorry that I haven't given you my best. In the new year, I'll do better. Let's press on together.

Much love.

In Christ,

CD

12.15.2005

He Does It Well

The heavens are telling
Of God and His glory
A mighty God we serve
They speak of His character
Awesome Creator
A mighty God we serve

Angels bow before Him
Heaven and earth adore Him
No other God above Him
A mighty God we serve

Hail the power and glory of God
Hail the power and glory of God

The earth and skies, glory
The land and seas, God's glory
The flowers and trees, glory
You and me, God's glory

Everything He does
He does it well

He does it well

What a mighty God we serve

-- From "The Heavens Are Telling" by Karen Clark-Sheard

12.05.2005

Face To Face

We gravitate toward people that make us feel good.

True relationships are what we seek but really have no idea what we're asking for. I learned recently the reason behind accountability. The truth spoken from the outside. I lie to myself a lot. I can give you just enough of the truth to make you think what I want you to. I came face to face with myself over the weekend. A friend called me out on my self-centeredness and my bad habits. He threw out some recommendations for help. It took a couple of days to sink in. While I may still disagree in some areas, the bottom line is that sin is sin. I love helping people out of their mess. Why don't I want the same for mysef? I do at times. But then this cross-bearing gets hard and I don't want to anymore. "Living the life" throughout the week is tough. Especially when you've been doing it your way most of your life ... like me.

The hard truth, it's not about me. It never has been. It's about God and what He wants.

It's not about you. It's about God and what He wants.

"Anything crooked in the life must be straightened, any stumbling blocks removed. Low levels of spiritual living must be raised, and rough character polished. Areas of neglect must be remedied, and relationships adjusted. This is something for which we alone are responsible, but the Holy Spirit will cooperate with us to this end."

-- From "Enjoying Intimacy with God," J. Oswald Sanders, p. 29