12.29.2006

Trail of Destruction/Chance for Repentance

"I cannot discover God in myself and myself in Him unless I have the courage to face myself exactly as I am, with all my limitations, and to accept others as they are, with all their limitations."
-- Thomas Merton, No Man Is An Island

I never thought I would be that person. The one that hurt other people. I was always on the other side of the battle. I was the victim. I was one constantly being hurt. But it's true, hurt people hurt people. I too, was a perpetrator. I recently found that out through months of self-evalution. I realized how selfish I was. The damage I had caused friends and family. It's tough to face. But in the midst I've found something ...

2 Corithians 7:10-11a
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."


And I'm thankful for the grace and the mercy to repent, to change, to grow, to love, to grow as a son of the Most High.

12.08.2006

Closet/Waterfall

In our houses we all have that closet or that little room
Where unwanted things are covered and hidden like the shell of a butterfly's cocoon
Filled with memories and things in each of our present and past
We don't want to remember, We don't want them to last

But for some strange reason we can't throw them away
Because, just in case, "I'll save them for another day"
But this isn't last year's Christmas gifts or photos from your first day of school
It's the place where sin reigns, where the darkness looms

I have to confess that's where resentment, fear and anger thrive
If you push the wrong button, I'll cut you with my knives
The cause -- life's unfair, the sickness of our fallen natures
I can reflect on the heartbreaks and see, that room, there's torture

Those hypocrites, manipulators, and rivals, just admit, you hate me
That's my preference; it's better than feeling your wrath, greed and envy
But in my reaction I'm not innocent, not even close to that of a saint
This room is filled with s***, the door disguised with a fresh coat of paint

So I decided to open this place up, where few have gone before
It's going to take awhile to clean it up; time, I'm going to need lots more
Here's a package of unforgiveness, here's one of insecurity
My personal ambition, low self-esteem, self-seeking, unhealthy secrecy

What's this I see? Someone's here with love and support
It's amazing what happens when I allow others to come in the fort
A reccuring dream of a river descending with clean water
When myself, the clay, slowly begins to trust more in the Potter

Can't you hear the waves crash and see the water fall
Quite a site to witness, the beauty of it all
Bye-bye guilt and shame, see you later condemnation
I'm anticipating more freedom, more revitalization

I hear, "The Lord is really doing a work in you life"
Comments from friends who understand this journey of strife
He is and I have to be careful to not be hateful
For a see I'm set apart, and for that Jesus, I'm grateful