3.21.2007

Go in Jesus' name

In The Game Plan, Joe Dallas examines the life of Peter from the Gospels -- from his calling to follow the Lord, to his zeal, to his nightime nap, to his denial of Christ, to his restoration and his ministry.

I'm thinking that God called me out of the ordinary life to a new way of thinking and Kingdom Community which has touched me life to a major degree. I think of the mentoring/discipling I get to do and desire that these men find God, peace, love and become the men they were meant to be. I think of the poetry and the words. The testimony I have to share. All because God saw more in me than I did and kept coming for me.

I look at my story and how all God wanted was for me to give me up. I can't really love Him without His power. When Scripture tells us that we can do all things through Christ which strenghens us, It's not joking. When Jesus arose, he made it a point to tell the women to go tell his disciples -- and Peter -- that He had risen. He made it a point to tell you. He made it a point to come and tell me.

Then Jesus asks him three times, do you love me? Do you love me perfectly, divinely? Agape. Could Peter do it? Could you do it? Could I do it? Can I give what I have and leave it all on the altar? Can I finally stop running and leave me on the altar?

That's where many of us are. That's where I am. I am forgiven, loved, affirmed and accepted. And you are too. Receive it in Jesus' name.

We each are meant to do something specific. We're meant to be who God calls us to be. It's time to be those people and not who someone says we are or who we'd like to be. We've played the game long enough. We've self-rejected long enough. We've hidden from the light long enough.

And so we go, fellow disciples and soon to be disciples. We are no longer prodigals. We go sons and daugthers of the most high. We go warriors. We go in Jesus' name.

3.05.2007

Past and Present/Special Thanks

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

-- Philippians 2:12-13

I"m 30. And truth be told, I didn't think I'd make it.
When I was younger, I never thought I'd live to this age and honestly I didn't want to.
Here's a sample of why ...

"But more important perhaps, for now, simply imagine a home where the members of a family do not shout at one another or steal one another's possessions or restrict one another's movements or slap one another around into subjection or bully one another into compliance or intimidate one another into domestic slavery ... that would be a Christian home."

-- Sister Joan Chittister, Wisdom Distilled from the Daily



I'm a product of domestic slavery
Controlled, destroyed by words, not able to be me
Power of life and death is in the tongue
I wanted to fight, but was much too young

Humiliation and shame is the price to pay
It can be avoided if you “do and act as I say”
What a difference intimidation or manipulation makes
I started to hide, suck up the hurt, whatever it takes

“You won’t get me; I'll show you; you’ll never win”
I thought those words, as I contemplated revenge
Walls to surround me, will my prayers ever work?
God, please protect me, I’m surrounded my jerks

No matter where I went, either home or at school
Why does it seem that destroying me is the rule?
Is there anyone to accept or respect my view of life?
Enduring this trauma, the degrading cuts like a knife

Years later, I accepted their truth, and all of those names
Using other people to take of myself, those became my chains
I was slowly headed for the grave, does anyone care?
I doubt it, so I guess I’ll live in absolute despair

What’s life like with too much sinful activity?
No dignity, constant anxiety, insecurity, a loss of identity
When I wasn’t high, I was usually lonely and angry
But I just had this feeling that Jesus would save me



And He did. Recently, during a Isa Couvertier concert, I saw the words "repent, believe, healed, become" and just that morning I read in Joe Dallas The Game Plan, "prodigal, child, player, warrior."

Repent/ Prodigal
Believe / Child (son)
Healed / Player (disciple)
Become/ Warrior

And that's my story. I'm working it out with fear and trembling. I'm also reminded ...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I'm moving into the warrior mode. The past few years of my life have been preparation. I time to get intimate with the Father and with my Kingdom family. I've had the honor to walk with some great brothers and sisters of the Faith these past few years. I'm thankful that they've supported and loved me. You'll never know the impact you've had on my life. You'll never know that you helped save a life. As one of my brothers say, "thansk for loving me." And also know as Jonathan Larson wrote, "I die without you."

And so this is what I've learned and my tribute to each of you.

Let's go to the Table, I'm invited, you're invited
By the Mystery, the Presence, so we'll be united
To a feast where our cups will overflow
To learn and fellowship, more than we could ever know

So as He cleans us up from the dirt from our sin
Our past as prodigals is gone, He's forgiven where we've been
Now let's release ourselves from mistakes, rebellion and self-hate
He's anxious for our arrival, He can hardly wait

Can this be real? Intimacy, rest, affirmation can't be beat
Only with the Father, Savior and Spirit, that's sweet
No more worries about heartbreak, disappointment and pain
Comfort and joy flowing down like a small mist, a light rain

I'm grateful to share this with you, my brother and my sister
Words cannot express how much you mean to me, not even a whisper
Now let's celebrate, this is the ultimate Family Reunion
We're with the Trinity, redeemed and at home, yes, this is Communion.