What does it mean to be a man after God’s own heart?
Well, let’s begin with the mystery that I was chosen from the start
God knew me and loved me before the creation of the world
Born as a beloved little boy and not as a girl
My surroundings were decided, and absolutely not my first choice
But all the events in my life – good and bad -- pushed me to heed to His Voice
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, honesty is another key
To obey and be blessed is the formula to be who I was meant to be
It’s not always easy when God gives and takes away
Especially with the loss, grief is attached to those days
So why do I continue? I could just give up
And ask repeatedly, like Jesus, please remove this cup
Of suffering, strife, loneliness, and pain
Another nail, another cross, are you kidding? This is insane!
Will it ever end? Will I get a reprieve?
That’s part of the package, this is what I receive
But I could settle and make my dreams come true
But many times those things aren’t holy and cause me to walk away from You
So I look to the hills to which my help comes from
Falling to my knees, I confess, help ne before my soul goes numb
I don’t want to grow callous and my conscious disappear
Grow cold, hardened, hateful -- just admit my spirit thirsts like the deer
I know and have tasted that the Lord is good
So there will be times I may find myself misunderstood
Called to do things that go against the grain
Following God means leaving others behind, to die is gain
Their approval, acceptance can become my idols
I cry out to the Lord Jesus, please help me to break out of those cycles
Co-dendency, enmeshment, manipulation and abuse
Can suck the life out of me, take way my juice
To encourage, speak life, give hope to the lost
Be a friend or a brother– good like your favorite steak sauce
So realize there’s more growth, nothing’s “run of the mill”
I desire clean hands and a pure heart to enter the Lord’s holy hill
So no more deceit, there must be character and integrity
If I hope to be like King David and honor the Trinity
God will not tolerate me looking to worship another god
Anything in the sea or heaven, or someone with a great bod
Reminiscing of all the wrong I’ve done, this is my lament
Repentance begins when I rend my heart, and not my garment
Since I am called by Your Name, humble myself and pray
You will hear from Heaven and restore me, that’s the Truth You say
So I am depending on You, I want to abide in Your presence
May Your Spirit encompass me, may it penetrate all of my essence
4.27.2011
4.26.2011
The Cadence of My Cry
In the Name of Jesus I’m forgiven
I committed a sin, I admit it
All I wanted was to be loved
To feel great, and fly like a dove
I own my mistakes, no one else to blame
Some days the tears fall down my face like rain
I hurt myself and others I cared for
I have no idea what the future has in store
I know there’s redemption, there’s good to come
At least there’s a lesson, another one has begun
Pay attention to all that I’ve learned
About myself and others so next time no one gets burned
Take no one for granted because you never know
The gift you received can go away, melt away like snow
Do whatever you can to be wise like Solomon
Pray, examine yourself, do the work to shine like the Son
He’s the only Savior, no one can take His place
But it’s so easy to put things, people in His space
There are letdowns, disappointments, confusion and sadness
I did what I thought was the best way to handle my madness
But there’s a way that seems right to a man
But destruction will not let you stand
Knock you down as you follow its path
So follow God, find life, please – do the math
If you find yourself on the ground
If failure in your life is a common noun,
Staying there won’t help your cause
Get back up again, take a minute and pause,
“Where do you want to go with the time you have left?”
Each choice affects the destination, each and every step
Life or death, say the word, the power of the tongue
If not, you may find yourself throwing in the towel and be done
But the story does not have to have that ending
A better conclusion, may the world hear it, you’re sending
A message that not all hope is lost
My Beloved, Yahweh, He’s the Boss
Specialize in working things together for good
Making all things new, how He does it, I have no clue
The Mystery, the unknown, the Spirit at work
Can turn me, you, or any handful of dirt
To something beautiful, clean, radiant and pure
Separating us from our iniquity, that’s what He does I’m sure
That’s what He said when we agree that we miss the mark
He’s faithful, just, and then leads us out of the dark
May we walk with Him each and every day
There will be trouble, not a lot of times like a sunny afternoon in May
So stay the course, a higher calling is the prize
No reward on earth can match its size
We have no idea the inheritance we will receive
Taking up our cross, never give up, and just believe
Finding rest in the arms of my soul’s Lover
May I always dwell in the secret place and find cover
I’m sorry Jesus that I can’t get it right
I feel so lost at times, and I loose my sight
Distracted by the evil desires of my heart
How wicked it is and my shadow self -- loves playing its part
I pray one day to make you proud, leaving behind an amazing legacy
That I didn’t always give in and was owned by a life of ecstasy
Not a screw up or a looser but one who persevered
One who endured only because of the strength that Yeshua was near
He is the only one who can keep me from falling
Keeping me faultless before His glorious presence, I heard the calling
Yet so many times I walked away, did my own thing
And found myself many days spent in self-pity and shame
All I have left is the cry, please hear your son
Please remember when you come into Your Kingdom
I committed a sin, I admit it
All I wanted was to be loved
To feel great, and fly like a dove
I own my mistakes, no one else to blame
Some days the tears fall down my face like rain
I hurt myself and others I cared for
I have no idea what the future has in store
I know there’s redemption, there’s good to come
At least there’s a lesson, another one has begun
Pay attention to all that I’ve learned
About myself and others so next time no one gets burned
Take no one for granted because you never know
The gift you received can go away, melt away like snow
Do whatever you can to be wise like Solomon
Pray, examine yourself, do the work to shine like the Son
He’s the only Savior, no one can take His place
But it’s so easy to put things, people in His space
There are letdowns, disappointments, confusion and sadness
I did what I thought was the best way to handle my madness
But there’s a way that seems right to a man
But destruction will not let you stand
Knock you down as you follow its path
So follow God, find life, please – do the math
If you find yourself on the ground
If failure in your life is a common noun,
Staying there won’t help your cause
Get back up again, take a minute and pause,
“Where do you want to go with the time you have left?”
Each choice affects the destination, each and every step
Life or death, say the word, the power of the tongue
If not, you may find yourself throwing in the towel and be done
But the story does not have to have that ending
A better conclusion, may the world hear it, you’re sending
A message that not all hope is lost
My Beloved, Yahweh, He’s the Boss
Specialize in working things together for good
Making all things new, how He does it, I have no clue
The Mystery, the unknown, the Spirit at work
Can turn me, you, or any handful of dirt
To something beautiful, clean, radiant and pure
Separating us from our iniquity, that’s what He does I’m sure
That’s what He said when we agree that we miss the mark
He’s faithful, just, and then leads us out of the dark
May we walk with Him each and every day
There will be trouble, not a lot of times like a sunny afternoon in May
So stay the course, a higher calling is the prize
No reward on earth can match its size
We have no idea the inheritance we will receive
Taking up our cross, never give up, and just believe
Finding rest in the arms of my soul’s Lover
May I always dwell in the secret place and find cover
I’m sorry Jesus that I can’t get it right
I feel so lost at times, and I loose my sight
Distracted by the evil desires of my heart
How wicked it is and my shadow self -- loves playing its part
I pray one day to make you proud, leaving behind an amazing legacy
That I didn’t always give in and was owned by a life of ecstasy
Not a screw up or a looser but one who persevered
One who endured only because of the strength that Yeshua was near
He is the only one who can keep me from falling
Keeping me faultless before His glorious presence, I heard the calling
Yet so many times I walked away, did my own thing
And found myself many days spent in self-pity and shame
All I have left is the cry, please hear your son
Please remember when you come into Your Kingdom
Lonely (Edit)
Would you believe me if I said, “I’m dying”
Not physically, but on the inside, crying
Leaving the familiar of what I knew and loved
And had a close connection with God in heaven up above
But like Abraham I was told to pack up and go
And develop and write and perform a new show
But this was no sitcom, musical, performance, recording, or play
It was the beginning and at times, I confess, “I did it my way”
Days of sadness, days of hope, days of apathy, all mixed into one
Blur together as I look and focus or turn away from the Son
Tears and lack of vision I’m afraid I have no future
I’m lost, no direction, my soul bleeds, I need a suture
To stop the blood, the life from leaving my body
I need that but it’s flowing out faster than a Maserati
Exhausted, insomnia, nothing takes away the pain
A call, a letter, a visit that’s what keeps me sane
But what if this is the only way for me to travel?
I fear that too much of this and I may unravel
Is this how Jesus felt as His life came to and end?
I know for me – I don’t want this cross—I confess it’s sin
And be who knows where and with whomever?
May not like the environment or the company, “I want better
I deserve it, I work hard, You know what this does to me!”
I fall apart, crumble, can’t hold it together, OMG! Everyone will see …
So I come broken, here I am, Your servant and son
Looking for His Heavenly Father, don’t wait, please come
I have to believe that You are here with me
So please take care of me, friend me, love me …
And hear my cry, dear Jesus, “I’m lonely…”
Not physically, but on the inside, crying
Leaving the familiar of what I knew and loved
And had a close connection with God in heaven up above
But like Abraham I was told to pack up and go
And develop and write and perform a new show
But this was no sitcom, musical, performance, recording, or play
It was the beginning and at times, I confess, “I did it my way”
Days of sadness, days of hope, days of apathy, all mixed into one
Blur together as I look and focus or turn away from the Son
Tears and lack of vision I’m afraid I have no future
I’m lost, no direction, my soul bleeds, I need a suture
To stop the blood, the life from leaving my body
I need that but it’s flowing out faster than a Maserati
Exhausted, insomnia, nothing takes away the pain
A call, a letter, a visit that’s what keeps me sane
But what if this is the only way for me to travel?
I fear that too much of this and I may unravel
Is this how Jesus felt as His life came to and end?
I know for me – I don’t want this cross—I confess it’s sin
And be who knows where and with whomever?
May not like the environment or the company, “I want better
I deserve it, I work hard, You know what this does to me!”
I fall apart, crumble, can’t hold it together, OMG! Everyone will see …
So I come broken, here I am, Your servant and son
Looking for His Heavenly Father, don’t wait, please come
I have to believe that You are here with me
So please take care of me, friend me, love me …
And hear my cry, dear Jesus, “I’m lonely…”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)