3.31.2006

My Daily Bread

Over the past few weeks I've been blessed. In a two-week period, people brought me food -- like 10 bags worth -- and I was taken to lunch multiple times. I got a raise at my part-time job, some cash I didn't expect and an increase in hours. I'm just grateful to God and thank Him for taken care of me during this time.

3.06.2006

Chosen: An Intriguing Aftertaste

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

-- Luke 10:38-42

Many of us are familiar with the above passage and have heard many sermons on it. At a service at church about a week ago, we were discussing various topics and I was sharing about my current situation where I have ideas about where I'm headed in ministry and the signs that have been coming my way but not exactly sure what it looks like in reality. One lady told me (and everybody) that the place where we need to be is at the feet of Jesus.

Oh.

After she said that, that small voice came and said, "I've been waiting on you."

So as I planned to go home and pray about it (and it took another day), the story came to me and I reread it.

The only way I'm going to get the answers I'm seeking is at the Lord's feet. The image I picture is me holding on to his calf these days.

I went to the altar during ATS' Wholeness Conference as Andy Comiskey shared his story and then went into a prayer time for freedom from shame. He also blessed us for our uniqueness in our personhoods. After it was over, one of the ministers said the angels were celebrating over me and my life and what was to come. I was encouraged.

I'm encouraged that I'm learning more about my brokenness. The root issues that drive my struggles. I've been brokenhearted. I've been self rejecting myself. Issues of co-dependency have been floating around in my system. I avoid pain. I control. I lust, not just sexually, but with anger, resentment, fantasy. Boundary struggles. I don't like not being "chosen." I don't want you to see me. And I still don't know who that is. ...

But at the feet of Jesus, I'm beloved, He delights in me. I'm blessed. His grace and mercy all around me. I experience it every day and its in abundance.

... and so much more.


For the season of Lent, I'm giving up something that seems a little strange. For those of you who like cranberry juice, more power to you. I'm not a fan, it's one of the worse aftertastes I've ever experienced but it's good for your health. I usually drink CranGrape which is kind of a mix and much more enjoyable. So, as I drink up the cranberry juice, I endure the bitter aftertaste. It may only be brief, but the discomfort is my sacrifice. It reminds me of the bitter cup of suffering of Jesus took for me. His blood cleanes and makes whole. Cranberry juice helps the immune system, fights various bacteria, contains a variety of vitamins and the list goes on.

The aftertaste has my attention and I pray. Praying for my healing and if even for a brief moment, I'm at His feet. I'm changing from the inside out. I'm giving my life to Him. He chooses me everytime.