12.03.2007

The Divine Beverage

A few weeks ago I was talking with a couple at our local Christian school's Thanksgiving luncheon. They were there having lunch with their grandchildren and the grandmother told her grandson that I "left everything for Jesus" and moved to California. (paraphrase). At first I didn't think much about it. My current ministry is a great fit and I'll get to do what's been in my heart for while. So God answered the desires of my heart.

But during the past month, I've been feeling like I'm being called to die more. I'm called to be holy as He is holy. I'm challenged to leave more of the spirit of this world behind. Some moments it gets a challenging as my performance-based mentality wants to make sure God is happy with me and then the fear creeps in -- I know I'm not perfect and I have more growth and integrity to live in.

But recently, I'm starting to wonder if the woman's words were prophetic. In another conversation, a friend of mine reminded me of Abraham and in another book I'm reading, how God told him to go. He left what was familiar and God blessed him. He drank the cup the God offered him.

So now my drink is poured. I've been taking sips here and there. Some times even a good swig and maybe a swallow. I get the leaving the familiar. And with Henri Nouwen's "Can You Drink The Cup?" I'm challenged that to add the cup Jesus offers to my daily diet. The cup that continues to provides eternal life, but I also one that leads to more death. My drink is combination of the good and the bad. My sorrows and joys. Add confession and celebration. Everything that makes me the unique person I am today. And what I gift to share with others. A drink to share with you. Communion with each other. Commuion with our God.

When I think of my struggles and my failues, I think of the thief on the cross who asked Jesus to "remember me in paradise." There were disciples who wanted what Jesus had and they lost their lives. This Jesus, my Rabbi, leads me to a place where the "first easy yes had to be followed by many hard yeses until ... [my cup is] completely empty." (Nouwen).

So I've got to drink more. I can't hold my nose to keep the bitter taste to a minimum. That's cheating. That's sin. I know what it's like to try to make the drink tastes better. Thank God for grace. But it slowed down the process. The cup makes me whole. And I wasn't getting better fast enough. Like an bacterial infection, if you don't take care of it correctly, it grows and builds a resistance, making it toughter to eradicate the next time around. The Blood is strong enough however. And that's what I'm still here today.

I'm here to continue to fulfill my God-given destiny. Live out my Christ-abiding identity. And contemplate "this man Jesus. In his presence ... [the disciples] had experienced something radically new, something that went beyond anything they had ever imagined. inner freedom, love, care, hope, and most of all, with God" (Nouwen). I come face to face with a reality that "asks for the most radical trust in God, the same trust that made Jesus drink the cup to the bottom." (Nouwen)

So I'm working on my drink. Some days I drink more than others. The good news is that God walks with me and encourages me as Nouwen writes, "Living a spiritual life is living a life in which the Holy Spirit will guide us and give us the strength and courage to keep saying yes.

And he encourages you to do the same. May we enjoy our drinks together. May we live and die together. Share our cups together. We raise them up, make a toast: "To the Lord Most High, the author and perfecter of our Faith." And "together when we drink that cup as Jesus drank it we are transformed into the one body of the living Christ, always dying and always rising for the salvation of the world" (Nouwen).