Come Closer

Over the past three weeks I made a decision. At the all-night prayer vigil at ATS a few weeks ago, I felt God for the first time in a long time. Many of you know that the past year of my life has been the toughest I've ever faced. On top of that, I don't have a full-time job. During a part of the service, the thought came to my mind, "Come Closer." I felt like I should have gone up to the altar. It's not like I hadn't been there before. But I could only go the first pew and sit down. About a week later at a prayer service at my church, it happened again. Of course, I'm like, "God, is this you or me?" I got so close and then stopped. I wondering who's watching me? Will they notice? Why can't I go forward? I think of the Israelites and how God came down on the mountain and they were like, Moses, you go and tell us. We'll just hang out back here. It's been a while since I've heard that and so I wait again. So, another part of the story is that I kept putting things off, like my own growth and healing and since that night. I made a decision, I decided not to worry about my future on work on accountability, character and integrity and hopefully have my fellowship with God restored in the process. Maybe I'm coming closer after all. ...