Heartbroken

Can one more thing go wrong?
How much more of this suffering must go on?
No direction, no goals
No idea what to do anymore
Yeah, that's right, my anger's far from gone

I'm sure there's Scripture
Or some advice you can give
You have no idea of the pain, frustration
When all your childhood dreams
Can no longer live

Do they have to die?
I still hope they come true
Bit the bullet, worked hard
Success, titles, adoration
My idols; on the inside, I'm blue

This is not the life I envisioned
But Christian ministry is no joke
I knew better to think that it would be easy
And without the comfort
Some days I wonder, did I choke?

This isn't about me
I hear it, I understand
But when the rubber hits the road
And the truth comes to life
Sometimes I don't like playing in this band

I can never give up
I've tried many times before
Believe it or not
The sinners I hung with
Knew I was destined for more

So today I realize I'm dying
I discover what really make me tick
I confess the darkness in the light
Get rid of the stuff
That's been making me sick

Interviews from DC to the West Coast
It's been "no" after "no"
And what I've learned is that
I don't do well
When I'm not chosen

So you're reading my dairy
Written in my head where it's spoken
Now you know what's it like
When your expectations, aspirations and passions
Don't get met, yes, I'm heartbroken.